Open Letter to the Guy in the Blue Taurus.

I would like to start off by taking a moment and saying Congratulations! I know that it was not easy, and that it probably took years of preparation. World Records are not easy to obtain, but you did it! So, tell me, how does it feel to be the newly crowned "Worlds Slowest Driver"?

I knew that you were special when I first met you on the road many months ago. I did not realize your full potential, however, until that famous morning when I watched a tractor pass you. Nothing says "Worlds Slowest Driver" like being passed by farm implements.

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way we can get down to the real reason for my letter. I am sure that you are quite proud of your accomplishment, but you need to stop rubbing it in. You're getting a little cocky. We all know that you're the record holder, you can stop rubbing our noses in it. Every morning you are crusing down the road flaunting your title for all the world to see. We get it. You're 'Da Man'. It's time to move on.

You don't see MJ shoving his 6 rings in everyones face. Joe Montana doesn't have a billboard outside of his house that reads "I'm a SuperBowl Winner". You don't see that tiny oriental guy that eats all of those hotdogs wearing a shirt that says "I'm the tiny oriental guy that eats all of the hotdogs!". They are winners and they know it. They don't have to remind everybody every morning. Every. Single. Morning.